What shooter could be complete without its pistol? OK, Metroid Prime, quit staring like that. The industry standard for shooters, especially 3D shooters, calls upon developers to craft single-chamber, clip-loaded handguns ranging from the common to the insane, from the useless to the ungodly powerful. Not to be confused with hand cannons, magnums, or semi-automatic subs, pistols hold an important and often underrepresented role in the storied tradition of videogame weapons. That’s why the Top 5 Takedown has dedicated this round to the craziest and most notable pistols in gaming.
5) Deagle (Army of Two)
Though Army of Two may not have received the most positive critical reception (rightfully so given the myriad of uninspired design choices), the swagged-out weapon upgrade system in single-player still beats out many others. Add to that the wonderful, gamey irreverence of bastardizing one of gaming’s most infamous of power pistols, the Desert Eagle, by officially calling it what gamers have been calling it for years. Spend the bank to pimp it out, and Army of Two offers a shinier Deagle than any Call of Duty game ever has.
4) Screamer (Bulletstorm)
Though Bulletstorm has yet to make a legacy less than one week after release, the Screamer is sure to take a prominent place in the canon for experimental weapon design. It’s not the first pistol to set enemies on fire or aid players with a fast draw lock-on system, but it’s certainly the first to shoot both bullets and fireworks. Yes, Fireworks is also the name of a Skillshot, but how else could one describe the emittance of sputtering sparks that earns this pistol its namesake?
3) L. Hawk (Resident Evil 5)
Probably the most standard pistol on the list, the Deagle-esque L. Hawk from Resident Evil 5 could also be lauded as (potentially) one of the most powerful pistols in recent history. Buy all the upgrades, beat the single-player campaign, and the L. Hawk transforms into an infinite-ammo Uroburos-pounding instrument of death. It may seem almost unfair at that point to keep mowing down the armies of helpless, headless zombies, but it’s just too much damn fun.
2) M6D Pistol (Halo: Combat Evolved)
The M6D is likely one of the most infamous pistols in gaming because of how insanely overpowered it could be. The jump from Halo to Halo 2 saw a drastic reduction in power, and a likewise powerful response from the Halo series fanbase. Some were passionately opposed to the change, some were all too happy to accept it, and a strange few wished it would disappear entirely. In every Halo iteration since the first, the pistol has been one of the biggest points of balancing contention despite the varied arsenal always avaible to Spartans worldwide.
1) The Golden Gun (Goldeneye)
How can the supremacy of the Golden Gun be argued with? Too overpowered? That’s the point. Too irrelevant? That’s another point. Too gold? Precisely. Not only did this pistol find it’s origin in a Bond movie entirely apart from Goldeneye but it’s made its way into two iterations of the Goldeneye game since. As if that wasn’t enough, the reboot of Goldeneye for the Wii was accompanied by a Golden Gun peripheral to house the Wiimote for some real gold-bullet-slinging action. And one-shot kills in split-screen mulitplayer were never more infuriating than in the Temple with health handicaps and Klobbs all around. The Man with the Golden Gun? Thankfully, it’s all of us.
