An Xbox 360 plushy recently went up for sale on Ebay. I know what you’re thinking, "what in the nine hells am I going to do with a non-functional plush 360? Especially one that smiles at me." Well, that’s what I’m here for. Here’s 5 reasons why you could possibly want to buy this.
1. You’re a girl
It’s cute, it’s cuddly, and if you’re obsessed with it you’re going to want to hug it. Honestly? The standard Xbox 360’s hard plastic makes it difficult to really get a good hug in. And unless you’re a girl, you don’t really want to hug and cuddle with the things you love, which brings me to my next reason-
2. You want to sleep with a 360
Some girls are so into the 360 they want to sleep with it… Some guys are so into the 360 THEY want to sleep with it. If Jason Biggs can stuff a pie, fanatics can stuff a plush 360 (refer to the hard plastic section as to why they shouldn’t "stuff" their current 360). At least it’s pink and looks kinda feminine, right guys?
3. You want to trick someone with a less than average IQ into using this "Xbox" instead of yours
Are you one of those guys who shares your Xbox 360 with all your roommates? That was awful nice of you at first, but now you’re starting to feel like you’re not getting the playing time you want right? Well here’s your solution–buy this, put it in the living room, and set up shop in your room. If they’re stupid enough they’ll never know the difference. And if all else fails, blame the smelly roommate and tell everyone else he pulled the classic decoy routine. No one will believe the smelly guy.
4. You are a Sony fanatic
So you hate the 360. You hate it enough to go out and buy one just so you can destroy it. Why waste $$$ bucks when you can just buy this thing and beat the living crap out of it on a consistent basis. You obviously have anger issues, so why not buy this as a stress reliever and let the pounding begin.
5. You have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand why you spend more time with "that stupid box" than with her
First of all, if she’s given you the ultimatum, "It’s me or the 360," you should have already given her the boot. You don’t see us telling them, "it’s me or the ridiculous amounts of shoes you buy" or "It’s me or The Hills". So if you’ve heard that before, stop reading this immediately and show her the door.
Now, for those of you who have that girl who understands you, but just doesn’t share the passion, get her this as a cutesy little novelty and say "See baby? The 360 can be cute too."
There’s an outside chance that it might pique her interest. Just in case, get her flowers and something with a diamond on it as a backup. If anything you could turn it into one of those "cute" moments she’ll tell her friends about.
