T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a gamer was stirring -- not even their mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In the hopes that a GeForce 8800 or console would be there;
Gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of CoD4 danced in their heads;
Lo and behold, a C4 transport flew directly over head;
With parachute presents and game company CEOs dressed up in red;
Bill Gates shouted, "Now Xbox, now BioShock, now Mass Effect and Halo;
More LIVE 12 month gold memberships I will throw to all below!"
Prez Fils-Aime of Nintendo, obviously not to be outdone;
Said loudly and clearly, "I've got Super Mario Galaxy for everyone!"
Kaz Hirai of Sony then shouted with glee;
"You noobs have got nothing because I've got tons of PS3s!"
I awoke in a start; I heard noises on the roof,
I took my Wii Zapper and I was ready to shoot;
But down the chimney, all three CEOs appeared,
"We come bearing presents!" they all happily declared.
A bundle of games they all had on their backs,
And they joyfully gave me all of their map packs.
Their eyes, how they twinkled, their dimples how merry!
(But they were wearing HEV suits so that was really scary…)
I grabbed a 360 and warily said,
"Hey Bill, will this console's ring light up red?"
He smiled and laughed and slapped me on the back,
"You get a two year extended warranty, so don't give me any crap!"
I turned to Hirai and asked him a question,
"Just when are you going to make more games before there's dissention?"
Kaz winked and he grinned from ear to ear,
"We've got MGS4 coming, so please never fear."
Reggie from Nintendo started to giggle and scream,
"I'd give you a Wii, but we're all out it would seem!"
I thanked them all and bid them adieu,
While my home alarm system called the cops; the men dressed in blue.
The CEOs left all sorts of games and dual core chips that were oh so right, and left on the C4 shouting,
"Happy gaming to all, and to all a good night!"
The Q Big titles of Q4
Listen Up Video Games Live in Philly
Eddie Inzauto The games industry is doomed? Not really.
FilmPLOSION! Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Blu-ray Review
Brendon Lindsey Lazy Game Journalism
Pro Tip Pro Tip: Demon's Souls
OneWordReview OWR: Kingdom Hearts
You Win! "That Makes Sense" Award
Head 2 Head Nathan Drake vs. Indiana Jones
Jason Fanelli Open Challenge to "Fair Journalism"
Tyler Cameron When Enough is Enough
OLD SKOOL 8-Bit RPG: Dragon Warrior
VS Node VS Node No Bounds
Revisited No More Heroes, Revisited
Phil Williams Games On Demand - The Future?
Mike Murphy Fox News Bias on Gaming an Insult to Journalism
Top 5 Takedown Top 5 Zombie Games
I
LOVE
THIS
POEM
Written by true gamers.
uber-tastic
one of the bst poems ever written...erm...typed
thats hot...
Quite sexy, Frank. Quite sexy indeed.
Great poem! =D
(Frank, stay away from goatlinks.)
LoL. It's YOU that I'm worried about.
Frank, you should have written a poem for me to enter into the Contest, that way I could have gotten Orange Box ..... I'm still pissed about not even getting a placing for creativity. I mean, anyone can take a Night Before Christmas and meld it about Orange Box like disco, but can one simply create something new?
Now you tell me. You didn't know about "Frank's Poetry and Writing Service?" Next time around, make sure you tell me and for a small fee...
But seriously, they'll be other contests and I'm sure you'll be able to snag a prize if you keep entering. It also helps to tell the EIC what a great guy he is too...
Brendon, what a great guy you are.
This poem is wonderful, I'm in tears, my feelings have been deeply touched...