I know a lot of you are like me; you love geek stuff. DVD's, phones, video games, flash memory, iPods, TVs, computers, graphics cards, and just so much more. But you know what's even better than geek stuff? Cheap geek stuff. I'm talking about brand-new-52"-1080p-LCD-HDTV-for-under-a-thousand-bucks cheap. And it seems like it's that time of year once again. Black Friday is approaching, and you need to be ready for it.
Black Friday veterans can skip this paragraph: For those of you who are new to the Black Friday circuit, BF is the day after Thanksgiving, or as I like to say, Thanksgiving Part 2. Seriously, Thanksgiving is a day where we give thanks (to no one in particular, really) by rewarding ourselves through eating as much as we can handle and then some. And what's more American than eating more than you need to? Shopping! So on the glorious Friday of Black, US citizens are blessed with the opportunity to indulge themselves with low-priced gadgets and presents. But, my friends, all is not happy-go-lucky in the world of Black Friday; it's a cut-throat, dog-eat-dog situation where everyone must fend for themselves. If you don't have a strategic plan, you have a good chance of failing. This is where I come in.
Now, I've experienced quite a few Black Fridays, both on the buying and selling ends of the rope. I've seen the weak fall, and the strong triumph. You have to know what you're doing, or else you won't get what you want. I've read a few BF articles before, and I have to admit, they all completely suck. I mean, they're just freaking awful. You don't need someone telling you "check the ads!" or "shop with a list!" Come on, how about I treat you like the vicious nerds you are, and not like a pregnant single mother. I'm going to let you in on a few pro tips that'll ensure you have the most successful Black Friday possible.
Screw Online Shopping
Are you one of those people who'd like to sit at home, wait until 12:01am, and double-click for the best deals? Well, sorry guy, you won't find them on your precious Intarweb. There's a reason why the early-bird special exists; the big companies want you in their store! They want you inside, looking around, buying an excess amount of junk you don't need! That's why all of the best deals are always behind those front doors, not an IP address.
Consult Your Bible
Psalms 11:23 (see what I did there?) clearly states: "In order for thou to receiveth thy fairest deals, thy must gain true wisdom beyond thy's brethren." Or... something like that. Anyway, I'm talking of course about the Black Friday Bible, otherwise known as BlackFriday.info. This is the holiest of holy Black Friday websites. It features all of the leaked Black Friday ads from all the major companies, and passes all of the information on to you. I'm going to repeat the website, and I need you to say it with me. Black. Friday. (One word.) Dot. Info. (The info is key, right there.) This will allow you plan out absolutely everything that you want come November 23rd. Which brings me to this...
Pinpoint Everything You Want
Most people are confused about Black Friday. They think it's all about showing up early, running in as fast as they can, and snagging as much as their shopping carts can hold. These people fail. Fail hard. Black Friday is all about the foreplay; the actual event doesn't matter nearly as much. I'll say this right now - The most crucial part of Black Friday is the preparation days before. (And proper line etiquette, but we'll get to that later.)
Make sure you go into this event knowing literally every product you want. And don't just circle the items you're thinking about getting in their ad, you noob. Write a detailed list on exactly what the products are, the brands, and the prices. Total it up, if you have to. Hell, add in sales tax, nerd. If you don't have a preset list, you're only going there to browse, which makes it like any other shopping day, because simple browsers don't get shit for deals.
Visit The Store Two Days In Advance
This is crucial, and ties in heavily with the last tip. If you don't know exactly what a product is, go check it out first. Find out what everything looks like so you're not stumbling around, trying to locate the model you want. Build a mental (or physical) map of the store, and pinpoint each location of everything you want. The odds are there were be certain products that shuffle around; maybe the 4GB SD cards will be up front, and maybe the Bluetooth headsets will be in the back. But if you want a DVD, it'll be in the DVD section. How about a monitor? Check the computer department. When you visit the store two days before BF, you should already have a complete list of exactly what you want, then modify it accordingly once you get there. This is strategic stuff, folks, and you can't take it lightly.
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Updated June 4th, 2008
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